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“Be quick to listen and slow to speak”, I heard at a recent presentation.  (Sounds like great advice my husband would say, and, of course, I’d say the same about him.)  Then the speaker said, “but, be careful who you listen to.”  And, that is what really stuck with me. 

With all of our fear-based media and marketing, it’s easy to fall prey to believing and acting on the economic news around us.  Is it just me, or are you too hearing more negativity?  As we listen, the knot of fear starts in our stomach and we alter our thoughts and behavior accordingly.

But what if instead of listening, we stopped and thought about our own life right now?  What is our truth?  When we started our day, did we feel this fear?  And, if we did, is it because of today? Or, is  it because of old (and new) messages about what might happen?  Now, I’m not suggesting we bury our heads in the sand and go merrily along, but, what I am suggesting is that we use critical thinking to decide what the economic message is for us.

Do we want to operate from this place of fear and worry; or from a place of power?  One place puts us in a state of hopelessness and irresponsibility; the other of power to change and make things happen.

If we use critical thinking, we can get to our truth.  The truth that right now, in this moment, we are all right – maybe not perfect – but all right.  Because in reality, we have the power to make decisions that will make us more financially stable.  And, more importantly, we have the power to shift our attitude from one that undermines us to one that supports us.

Think about it.

Most of us stubbornly argue for our limitations to the point of where we no longer allow anything new and exciting into our lives. We become stuck between can and cannot do, getting close to what we want but then delaying its arrival with sabotaging thoughts, emotions and beliefs. It is important to monitor the contents of our inner worlds as often as we can, since nothing new can arrive until we open ourselves fully to the possibilities of our grandest hopes and dreams – one thought and moment at a time.

I wish I could remember where I found that quote. All I know is it struck a chord with me and I tucked it away for future reference. Today seems to be the day I need to focus on it. How often do we defend our actions to the nth degree, only to later regret not being open to constructive criticism or a fresh viewpoint? We cling to our shortcomings as if our life depended on it when really it is the abandonment that sets us free.

So it is with money habits. We cling to the old way of doing things because we have always done it that way. We do it over and over again thinking that somehow we know better or we have changed—this time will be different. But in the words of Dr. Phil, “how’s that working for you?”

Instead of trying the same old mechanical fixes, don’t we owe it to ourselves to examine the sabotaging thoughts, beliefs and emotions that keep us in the same dysfunctional relationship with money? Don’t we want to find out what it is about our thinking that keeps us stuck in the same old places?  Don’t we deserve that much?

I’m ready to open to the possibilities of my grandest hopes and dreams—time to stop being stubborn!

My friend Jerry’s musings on a rainy day in the Pacific Northwest, ended with, “fear sure does change things quickly, doesn’t it?”  Wow, is that the truth!  Any moment in our life can change on a dime when fear creeps in.

A picture perfect day on the rocky coast of Maine can shift to deep-seated panic if we look down and imagine the consequences of a misstep and a fall.  Watching the joy and wonder on my grandson’s face as he struggles to coordinate his first steps with holding a ball – only to be horrified to see it’s the dog’s old, scummy ball.  Dreaming about future plans for our children, our home, our retirement – you name it – fun and creative until fear creeps in.

Along with all the other fears in our lives, money fear is ready to pounce at any moment.  We begin thinking of all the negative what ifs? What if I lose my job?  What if insurance won’t cover? What if we have to replace it all?  What if, what if, what if?  All these what ifs are driven by fear and ”fear sure does change things quickly, doesn’t it?”

So, what if we said no to fear and instead dwelled in the positive what ifs?  What if I get a promotion?  What if insurance covers it all?  What if it’s just a minor repair?  What if my grandson becomes a pitcher?  After all, there is just as much possibility in positive outcomes, isn’t there?  And, if we remember to dwell in the positive, we can make it happen.  FDR’s familiar quote “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” was actually adapted from Sir Francis Bacon’s 400 year old words.  So, I guess there must be some truth to it.

So next time you find yourself caught in a negative what if, see if you can turn it around and find the positive.  After all, doesn’t trust, courage or calmness change things just as quickly?

I think I can, I think I can; I know I can!

When I grew up, asking for help was not encouraged. Maybe it was just me, but I learned that asking for help was a sign of weakness. Although I can’t specifically remember hearing this, I know for most of my life, those voices in my head were saying, “you should be able to do it yourself” or “you got into this yourself; get out of it yourself” or something to that effect. But as I grow older, I’ve come to realize that sometimes not asking doesn’t only hurt me, but also may hurt the person I would have asked because it robs them of an opportunity they might have needed, wanted or enjoyed.

So, with reluctance, I ask for your help. I’m transitioning to a new messaging system for my blog. Currently, I send a separate e-mail alerting you that there is a new blog post. My new system will automatically alert you to a blog post only if you have subscribed. And to subscribe, you will need to click on the link above, fill out your e-mail information  and then respond to a confirmation e-mail that you will receive (to be sure I’m not just adding e-mail’s without permission).

I know about 200 of you read my blog every week, yet only 40 have “formally” subscribed.  So, I encourage you, if you like reading my blog, please take the time to subscribe now – you’re on this page anyway! I’ll continue to keep sending the old e-mail for another couple of weeks, but after that, you won’t receive any notices and you’ll miss all my exciting words of wisdom. So, please help make this transition easy; subscribe today.

 “No, but thank you,” (to the voice in my head) “I couldn’t do this by myself”.

Have you ever noticed how tough it is to make decisions when we attach money consequences to them? The entire decision-making process gets clouded by the money. Instead of analyzing a nice long list of pros and cons, we end up with just one factor – money. And so, the ultimate decision comes down to money and we forget the really important things to consider – family, friends, time, beliefs, non-monetary values, and so on.

For me, and a lot of others, we lose sight of these other considerations because of fear – the fear of not having enough. Just the thought of decreased earnings, savings, investments or things, instills fear and we are paralyzed. Sometimes we’re not even aware of the fear and even if we are, we don’t really know why. Is this fear growing in the pit of our stomach because of today’s circumstance? Or, is it a learned reaction to past experiences – either our own or experiences of others, like our parents, our society, our media?

The way I deal with this is to begin by quantifying the fear. Many of the individuals and couples I work with come in with huge fear and anxiety about where they think they are. But when we take the time to analyze the real numbers – quantify the fear – we discover it is not as big or as bad as they had imagined it to be. The money piece of the decision can be put to rest. 

Then we can ask ourselves, is this my fear or someone else’s? And, if it’s someone else’s, why am I letting it make decisions for me? It’s the first step to living a financially conscious life. It’s putting money in its place – behind all the important things in our lives – those real things no one can take away from us!

Instead of decisions, decisions, decisions – it should be quantify, quantify, quantify! Spoken like a true accountant.

This past week I had the pleasure of having a young poet stay with me while she attended USM’s Stonecoast Creative Writer’s Program at Wolfe’s Neck in Freeport.  After hours of intense work, she spoke to me of the many beautiful, creative writing pieces that were read by recent graduates of this MFA program.  It made me think about the place art has on our society’s list of valuable assets.  If we were to judge it by the proverbial, “put your money where your mouth is”, it isn’t very high on that list. In fact, society’s expectation is that art is not something you should expect to make money with and so we treat it like the poor stepchild. 

Historically, this seems to have been the norm because we hear artists, writers, musicians and actors described as starving.  Before creative souls even get started, our colloquialisms give them the expectation of being poor.  And, if they are lucky enough to be successful, they feel they have “sold-out” because they weren’t supposed to make money doing the creative work they love.  Or, if they do meet the low expectations we gave them, they feel “lesser than” because they chose to pursue a career in the creative arts.

Yet, most of us agree that the fine arts add endless depth and substance to our lives.  The creative works touch us and invoke feelings in places that we don’t easily or readily access.  I remember reading the book The Giver, one of my son’s 5^th grade novels, about a world with no color, no sound, no love – just sameness.  Quite frankly, it should have been labeled PG-13 for horror!

And, that is what our world would be without the arts.  So next time, you think of the starving creative souls and programs in our world, shift your beliefs just a bit to give them the value they deserve.  Maybe if we all shift a bit, someday we’ll hear everyone bragging, “my son, the artist!”

Add beauty to your life – support the arts!

Vacation is over and I’m sure you know what re-entry is like. Some many times, I have questioned whether vacation was really worth it? I find it especially hard to return after coming back from Robbinston where I’ve managed to get away from e-mail, internet and phone calls.  Life becomes much simpler and more manageable when we drift back into the way it was – or as Maine says, The Way Life Should Be! (If only all of Maine was like Washington County.)

When we’re away from it all, no matter where we choose to vacation, all our shoulds go away.  No more, “I should do this, you should do that or we shouldn’t even think of.”  We just live in the moment and make decisions based on what we want to do, not what we should do.  We know vacation is about relaxing and having fun so we just ease into life instead of facing our daily pile of shoulds.  Likewise, we’ve planned for the vacation financially so we needn’t struggle with financial worries – we have it all planned and we can just let everything flow.

So the questions to be answered are, how do we keep this feeling going when we get back?  How do we ease into life and do what comes naturally instead of listening to the interior voices of shoulds and musts?  How do we live a financially conscious life so we don’t get caught up in the financial problems so many of us face? 

As luck would have it, I was given a one-day reprieve because one by one all my Monday appointments cancelled or rescheduled and suddenly I had a free day. All my scheduled shoulds disappeared and because I am still in vacation mode I stayed easy and relaxed and some shoulds (like this one) turned into wants. 

Hmmm, is that the secret?  What do you think?

Have you ever had a secret that you thought you had shared – only to out it was only in your mind!  Well, it’s happened to me and I wonder what in my subconscious was keeping me from setting it free?  My e-mail announcing this blog never got sent.  So some of you may have since found it,  but while on vacation, I’m republishing for those who did not!

Although a few of you have known what I’ve been up to, I have kept most of you in the dark.  But now it’s official, I’m an author!  The Problem With Money? It’s Not About the Money! is hot off the press.  I began writing my book while on my annual Robbinston vacation last year.  And less than one short year later it is finished!  Finally, the two sides of my life (accounting and self-discovery) have come together.  I can’t wait to share what I have learned.

My professional work over the last 30 years made it clear to me that people’s issues with money couldn’t be solved with just left-brain solutions—I knew there was more to it.  But, it wasn’t until I became a Certified Empowerment Trainer that I found the right-brain tools for helping people really deal with finances.  The empowerment methodology taught me how deep-rooted beliefs can hold us hostage to patterns that don’t serve our lives and my left-brained experience as a CPA and Personal Financial Specialist  took me straight to money.  I had found the missing link and couldn’t wait to share this discovery with others. 

The Problem With Money? is about mastering the unexamined beliefs that drive our financial lives.  Because once we uncover and master these beliefs, we can have the money life we deserve. And once we have the financial life we deserve and want, we can put money where it belongs in our life.  Not as the most important, most powerful, or most feared thing in our life—but rather as just a small piece of our overall life.  Finally, money will be put in proper perspective.

Okay, now I’ve shared my secret – once and for all!  Pass it on……….  (Sorry you missed the party – my fault!)

I’ve promised myself while on my two week vacation that I would stay away from my computer and phone.  So, in keeping with this promise, I’m repeating my post from a year ago. 

I’ve been on a two week vacation in Robbinston, Maine, a very tiny town with no town center and only 500 or so people in almost 34 square miles.  Robbinston is in Washington County, Maine – Downeast Maine’s “Sunrise County.”  Washington County is called the Sunrise County because it is the easternmost county in the United States.   It’s also the poorest county in Maine and among the poorest in our country.  

However, it is only economically poor – its natural wealth is endless.  Watching the roaring waters of Reversing Falls I see seals riding the waves.  On the lake with the ethereal loons, I’m amazed as one swims under my kayak.   Hearing a splash on my morning walk, I see a majestic bald eagle rising from the lake with breakfast in his talons.  Wild strawberries abound in fields soon to make way for the blueberry carpets of August.  And as I walk along the country roads, I am greeted by the sight and smell of cedar and sea roses.    

Every day I am reminded of the tangible values in life. Things we can touch and feel and smell and see – things that are constant, things we can count on.  This is the currency of Washington County.  Washington County’s coffers are lined with raw beauty that feeds our souls not our pocketbooks.  After two weeks I know these are the things of true value, the things that remind us where real joy and wealth can be found.

Now the challenge is to remember Washington County’s values when I rejoin the “real world” – that electronic working world; that money world.  Each day back the memories will get dimmer, but I am forever connected to the loons, the eagles, the waters – how can I forget?  If we let them, they speak louder than the misguided values of our financial world.   Do you hear them?

Hope you enjoyed it again – I am!

I’ve been in San Francisco since Tuesday enjoying some time for myself while my step-daughter-in law attended a conference. What a wonderful city of diverse neighborhoods, amazing views – a walker’s dream come true. Easy to buy into the song lyrics, I Left My Heart in San Francisco.

But, last night in what was probably an ill-conceived notion to walk to an obscure performance on the other side of the city, we heard a different song. No amazing views, no interesting ethnic diversity, just streets populated with those less fortunate.  It brought me back to the reality of our society.  And for me, that reality is the real life gap between those that have and those that have not.

Financial decisions before, during and (after?) the economic downturn has caused this gap to widen. It’s so wide that it’s hard to see across this gap and even harder for us to look into the depth of this reality. But it’s important to stay aware of this dichotomy and to think about how our beliefs around money contribute to it.

Do our beliefs expand this gap or do they begin to bridge the gap? Do we see the less fortunate as a group, a group who doesn’t even try, a group whose only goal in life is to live off the system? Or, can we see them as individuals, individuals all with a different story—an individual story that brought them to this stage of life.

Because if we don’t see each person as an individual, it’s easy to dehumanize them and look away. It’s easy to brush them into city neighborhoods without amazing views and interesting attractions and forget about them. Thank you San Francisco for reminding me that each one deserves much more from me.  I think I found  my heart in San Francisco!

Home on the red-eye tonight – tomorrow will be ugly!