At a recent workshop, I was asked to keep track of what I thought about during the day and from that information I calculated the percentage of time I spent on each topic. The interesting thing? Money was way up there on my list of topics—I hadn’t expected that.

Now maybe I’m different from most, but I really thought I didn’t pay enough attention to my money and that it wouldn’t make the list at all.  And now I find out that I actually obsess over money.  When I order dinner I make my choice based on cost—not what I really want to eat.  I multi-task trips in my car, not to save gas but to save money (I just tell myself it’s about being green).  I even go so far as to get that last penny of ketchup out of the bottle. Worst of all, the last thing I would call myself is frugal, so it is clearly obsessing.

Maybe because I spend time avoiding the big issues, it is always in my subconscious nagging me.   We need to be conscious with finances but not in this nagging “always on my mind” way.  Instead we need to be conscious in a productive, well thought out way that gives us a clear picture of where we are and where we want to be.  Then, we can make money decisions easily and clear our minds of the clutter of unconscious money management.

So what do you say? Do you choose when, where and why money is part of your life—or—is it always on your mind?

Summer’s over and it’s back to school.  Even though I’m no longer involved with the beginning of the school year, I look forward to it.  It always feels more like the New Year than January 1^st does.  I love fall and the feel of new beginnings—maybe because I was one of those kids who loved school and looked forward to the start of another year.

But, not all of us felt that way.  For some, school was a painful experience—sometimes because of money beliefs others had.  This week I received an e-mail from a neighbor asking for donations to help buy new sneakers for needy children.  She wrote, “My daughter and I have never known the embarrassment of starting a new school year with a torn pair of shoes.  It is my hope that none of you or your children have either.”  She remembered just how important it was and still is. 

Back then and still now, we judge each other by our “wealth” not our “worth”.  Our society tell us “what makes the man”.  And, we blindly follow its beliefs and unwittingly pass them on to our children.  It becomes one of the many in our storehouse of unexamined money beliefs.

It’s a long journey to clear out and clean up these beliefs—but we have to start somewhere.  Pay attention to when you find yourself judging someone for the money they do or don’t have.  It may just be a subtle internal nudge or you may end up speaking it aloud.  You’ll be surprised just how much this is a part of all of us.  But, once we’re aware of it, we can start turning that belief around to something that “gives” rather “takes away” our own deeper, personal value.

Happy New Year!  I’m loving it!

Watching Senator Kennedy’s funeral this weekend I was struck by the small stories of his many kindnesses.  It seems like the great tragedies in his life gave him the ability to connect with everyone no matter their stature in life.  He learned early on that we are all in this together and that there is nothing more important than reaching out to another.

It got me to thinking of how our money beliefs and values have caused an ever widening gap between those who have and those who have not.  That gap has grown so that at times it seems impossible to bridge the gap.  The two sides believe the opposite of each other and can’t even begin to understand those on the other side. 

One side believes that nothing good comes with money—while across the gap they believe if you don’t have money, you’re no good.  One side believes you did something “bad” to get money, and the other side believes if you just worked or tried harder you wouldn’t be in the financial mess you’re in.  So, this gap between the “haves” and “have-nots”  gets bigger and bigger based on baseless “truths” and unexamined beliefs. 

But, maybe if we remember, like Senator Kennedy did, that we are all humans trying to survive in our world, we could reach across that gap and try to understand each other.  We could begin to examine the beliefs we have about those of us who “have” and those who “have not”.  If we did so, we might begin to see each other not as the enemy but as someone to collaborate with and support in this financial journey we’re on together.  Who knows what we might be able to create?

Farewell to Ted Kennedy:  an example of perseverance in the face of adversity.