I think this year I’ll commit to a New Year’s Solution instead of a New Year’s Resolution.  Resolutions don’t seem to work for me.  Somehow resolving to make a change isn’t enough.  But, acting like I already have the answer feels like a better chance for success.

One of the basic elements of Empowerment methodology is the shift from Pathology to Vision—from focusing on what doesn’t work in our life to what we really want.  I think that’s the difference between a resolution and solution.

With a resolution we decide to change a problem:  I’ll lose weight or spend less.  With a solution, we can focus on a new vision because the problem has already been solved.  It’s a subtle shift in perception but it feels totally different and it is so important to the outcome.

Just thinking back on the financial problems of 2009, we can get lost in the gloom and doom of the year.  We don’t even want to think back to the mess.  And, resolving to clean it up, isn’t going to help.  But, if we can affirm that we already have the solution and move toward a vision of financial stability, the shadow lifts and we can get a clear picture of where we’re heading.

So my New Year’s Solution is I have a financially balanced life that reflects my own conscious money beliefs and values.  And, while I’m at it, I eat food that supports a healthy lifestyle!  What’s your New Year’s Solution?

There, that feels much better!

Lately I’ve been talking to my clients about how to consciously spend by putting a gap ino our process.  A gap between the thought and act gives us time to make a conscious choice rather than one based on unconscious money beliefs.

The size gap doesn’t really matter; we just need a little break to ask ourselves, “Why am I doing this?”   When we do, we sometimes discover we are spending for all the wrong reasons – or at least not for the reasons we thought.  The gap gives us an opportunity to change our minds.

Unfortunately, in spite of all my talking, I forgot to use that gap on Monday.  Late afternoon, I went to the stores in Freeport to pick up a few things.  I ran into a friend (while getting lost coming out of the new parking garage) and joked, “I’m not sure what I’m looking for, but I’ll know it when I see it.”  (Boy, did I miss that clue!)

$300 dollars later, I arrived home with odds and ends for my family, and, three new sweaters for myself—bargains I just couldn’t refuse.  The Holiday Spirit had me so enthralled that it took me until tonight to realize it wasn’t the Holiday Spirit but rather the Holidaze of “one more gift” combined with beckoning signs of “60% off the already reduced 50% price!”

Old beliefs of the perfect Holiday had combined with bargain beliefs to bury the thought of that gap so deep that it didn’t surface for 36 hours—and not until I woke up in the middle of the night!  But, all is not lost; in the words of Scarlett O’Hara, “…tomorrow’s another day!”  All I can do is try again.  This financially conscious life is not easy!

Fiddle-dee-dee!  Still not perfect…

Keep watching, when you least expect it, Santa will appear!  Back on October 20, I expressed my frustration with Chase Credit for using a bogus excuse for upping my interest rate.  I wrote a letter in protest hoping to find some reason somewhere and that my rose-colored glasses weren’t beginning to blind me. 

Chase Frustration hit a nerve because you replied with the longest and the most comments ever.  You had a lot to say using words like “very sleazy, injustice, mistreatment, powerless and not…hopeful”.  All our frustrations with the current challenging financial times erupted loud and clear.

But – I’m here to report, there is a Santa.  Like Santa creeping in with gifts under the tree, that 3.99% interest rate reappeared on my account.  No fanfare, no advance letter – just there waiting to be found on my monthly statement.  Like each Christmas Eve, this small gift once again ignited my childlike hope for this world. 

As in the original 1897 editorial to Virginia, we …”have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age.”  Some skepticism is healthy, but times like this can lead us to loss of hope and faith in our fellow man.  But remember, behind that big corporate mask are people just like us.  And just like us, they can and will “Be the change you wish to see in the world” (Mahatma Ghandi).  Remembering that, we will see this through to better times. 

Hope still springs eternal…

Having flown home a day early to escape a Wisconsin blizzard, I faced a Maine snowstorm instead.  It got me thinking about snow days.  Remember when we were children and we prayed for snow days so we could stay home and do nothing?  All we had to do was play.  Nothing was planned for and nothing was expected of us. 

These days, if the storm is particularly bad and we lose power for awhile, we’re afforded that same opportunity.  Without electricity, there’s nothing to do—no work, no computers, no telephone (we need to conserve those batteries).  All we can do is relax and do nothing.

But, that’s not always easy to do.  Our Puritan ethic has us so programmed that if we’re not doing something or accomplishing something, our personal value is in question.  And, unfortunately, that personal value has become tied to money, so we must also be earning something.  Sitting and doing nothing, just being, has become an art form—it’s just not natural anymore.

With the Holidays fast approaching it’s even harder.  So last night, home from work early to avoid the mess, did I relax and do nothing?  Did I just enjoy the company of my husband?  Oh no, I wrapped gifts for shipping, wrote Christmas cards and filled the time with doing.  God forbid, I should just relax and enjoy the extra time.  The Holidays easily push us into accomplishing something to earn our personal value—and there’s just so little time!

So this morning, I regret not taking advantage of some free time to do nothing.  Nothing—like enjoying time for me, for family, for saying no to earning for a while.  So, my early New Year’s resolution is to remember there’s more to life—much more—and to pray for more snow days!

To be or not to be—that is the question…

It just struck me as I prepare to fly to visit my mother in Wisconsin, that six months ago I posted my first blog from her home while I was spending six days caring for her.  Six months sure goes fast.  So now I’m on my way again having decided in early November that it was time for another visit.  At 91 I never know when it’s the last visit or the last time she’ll recognize me.

But now that it’s time to go (and she’s doing great), I’m feeling overwhelmed with life.  I’m just recovering from the Thanksgiving break—too much work at the office, neglect at home and then Holiday angst on top of everything.  And, really should I be spending the money at this time of year?  Why did I decide to do this now?  What was I thinking?

Then I remember this Mary Engelbreit refrigerator magnet with its quirky message.  Twenty-two years ago I had these same feelings when I couldn’t decide if I should fly to Wisconsin to see Dad after he had a  minor heart attack.  My good friend Gail advised me, “Do whatever will feel good five years from now.”  I went for that visit and a week later he died.

This magnet I bought so many years ago reminds me of Gail’s advice and what is truly important in my life.  There’s always more time for work, chores and things to do—but time with each other is not endless.  It’s an important message to remember—especially this time of year.

22 days ‘til Christmas—you better not pout!

@empoweredmama : same happened to me – I was all confused!